Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)

small vent (adopt.ment.)

Question:

Mary – It is amazing to me how thick-headed people can be. I can’t count the number of times people have suggested adoption to me as a way to get pregnant. The number of comments like that must be tripled in your case, now that you have taken that step. Good luck to you in your adoption process. What an exciting time!! In honor of Thanksgiving…..Don’t let the turkeys get you down!! Mollie

Response:

"Yes, it’s remarkable that someone could get pg after so many years, and really? after adopting? Gee… But I think it’s the equivalent of telling someone not to worry about their money problems because their cousin won the lottery." GREAT analogy! I think I’m going to use that one next time I get one of these stories. There was a time when I’d hesitate to say something like this out of fear of not ‘being nice.’  I’m tired of always ‘being nice.’  I think it’s time for me to let people know (ok, so i’ll do it in as gentle a way as possible)  when they’re being insensitive. Thanks for sharing! — ~~ Victoria ~~ male & female factors me: clomid 100mg 2 failed IUIs In the 2 week wait DIUIs 11/19 &20 Want to know what your ng friends look like? http://www.seethelight.net/friends1.htm Come put a face to the name!

Response:

Mary congrats on your adoption! I am an adoptive mom and I adopted from India, I am still trying though we got our daughter before we found out there was definatley a problem.But we are adopting a baby sister for her in the mean time from india, Margo

Response:

Hi Mary. Just want to say that I know "exactly" how you feel. My response to the "any kids?" question is just a plain and flat out "NO"….no explanation, no excuses. I am(was) getting sick of hearing all the stupid and hurtfull coments from people. I still do hear, "wow, married 14yrs and no kids? You must have alot of freedom?"….ah, leave me alone, will ya…..in my years of IF, there’s one thing I learned NEVER to ask….and that is… "any kids?" Try to smile…you will soon have your adoptive baby and your heart will be blessed……I’m glad you have chosen adoption, but for me, it’s just way too complicated to even discuss…..so, I will remain childless….forever….oh, except for my son in heaven…..in some way, I guess I am still a mother….. Take care, thinking of you Brenda

Response:

Yes, I get that too often as well.  We adopted a little girl and I get that "you might get pg soon!" analogy as well.  I don’t like to hear such comments and yet I can’t and don’t expect them to understand how I feel and what I had gone through.  These are just a bunch of nosy fertile people who just have tried too hard to get a conversation going. I simly ignore them and their stupid questions. In general, most of them meant well and that is usually how I like to look at it.  Makes me feel better. Good luck with your adoption and hope your baby will join you soon. Gina – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I was getting my hair done yesterday and although my hairdresser was really sweet, she felt the need to tell me her niece or daughter or someone got pg after 10 years of trying and adopting. I had just told her after she asked the inevitable "any kids?" that we were adopting. It just makes me wonder, don’t people think I’ll be ok if I never get pg? And if I just shared that I’m adopting, wouldn’t they think "isn’t that nice" instead of "poor girl, let me give her some hope"?  And why on earth do they think their story has anything to do with me?  Yes, it’s remarkable that someone could get pg after so many years, and really? after adopting? Gee… But I think it’s the equivalent of telling someone not to worry about their money problems because their cousin won the lottery. These comments happen ALL the time to me. I always feel like there’s some hidden camera around when I hear it. I guess the cluelessness will always be there. Thanks for listening (and mostly UNDERSTANDING), Mary Before you buy.

Before you buy.

Response:

Gina I definitely don’t expect them to understand what we’re going through. I still feel like there’s that hidden camera when the dumb remark comes out, like, this is a joke, right?  Thank you for your well wishes! I have to be honest, I really do know how they feel.  About 6 years ago a friend of mine talked about adopting and I thought, "how sad" (that sounds so cruel to me now). Little did I know where my life would take me and now adoption is the answer to our prayers!  So I know these people don’t mean harm, their lives are just on a different path. But I still like that I can vent here – thanks to all for your replies and feel free to use the "lottery" analogy Mary – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yes, I get that too often as well.  We adopted a little girl and I get that "you might get pg soon!" analogy as well.  I don’t like to hear such comments and yet I can’t and don’t expect them to understand how I feel and what I had gone through.  These are just a bunch of nosy fertile people who just have tried too hard to get a conversation going. I simly ignore them and their stupid questions. In general, most of them meant well and that is usually how I like to look at it.  Makes me feel better. Good luck with your adoption and hope your baby will join you soon. Gina I was getting my hair done yesterday and although my hairdresser was really sweet, she felt the need to tell me her niece or daughter or someone got pg after 10 years of trying and adopting. I had just told her after she asked the inevitable "any kids?" that we were adopting. It just makes me wonder, don’t people think I’ll be ok if I never get pg? And if I just shared that I’m adopting, wouldn’t they think "isn’t that nice" instead of "poor girl, let me give her some hope"?  And why on earth do they think their story has anything to do with me?  Yes, it’s remarkable that someone could get pg after so many years, and really? after adopting? Gee… But I think it’s the equivalent of telling someone not to worry about their money problems because their cousin won the lottery. These comments happen ALL the time to me. I always feel like there’s some hidden camera around when I hear it. I guess the cluelessness will always be there. Thanks for listening (and mostly UNDERSTANDING), Mary Before you buy. Before you buy.

Before you buy.

Response:

I agree with Victoria – this is a great comment about the lottery and I intend to use it.  And I don’t think it’s being mean – I think they don’t realize how insensitive they are being.  It’s our job to relieve them of their ignorance – maybe they’ll figure out it’s better to just say nothing. After all – even though I really want to get pg – there are a ton of other things I can talk about with people like my hairdresser!  I am capable of having a conversation that is not about IF – once in a while! Angela ttc 11 months 2 failed IVFs with genetic testing 1 son with fatal genetic disease

Response:

Hi Mary: I guess the cluelessness will always be there.

Yes, I think alot of people are just cluelessabout IF (including family/friends) and will remain that way.  Thank God for the ng! But I think it’s the equivalent of telling someone not to worry about their money problems because their cousin won the lottery.

I just love this analogy!!!!!  I think I’ll actually use it on some of the "clueless" people!!!!   LOL I think this would point out their ignorance to them without having to tell them outright just how ignorant they really are!!!  I can see them fumbling over the statement already.  Thanks for the ammo!! Casey ttc 4 yrs. 3 IUI’s w/clomid 100mg lap 10/99 Endo Stage I Lupron 3 mos./bcp20days/Lupron & IF treatments in Apr./May 2000 Dh & I will both be 35 by then.

Response:

Hi Mary, I definitely understand how you feel, which is one reason why I now just avoid the whole topic when we are asked if we have kids….People just never seem to say the right thing, but for some reason seem to feel the need to say a lot of the wrong thing.  I for one am tired of the ‘just adopt’ then you will get pregnant remedy. I also want to say I think it is fantastic that you are going to adopt!!!!!  We are very very close to moving to that option soon if this final IVF/ICSI is not successfull.  After all, when it all comes down to it what we really want to be are parents. Best of luck to you!  Keep us posted on how things go!!! Tricia IVF/ICSI #4 (transfer tomorrow or Thanksgiving) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I was getting my hair done yesterday and although my hairdresser was really sweet, she felt the need to tell me her niece or daughter or someone got pg after 10 years of trying and adopting. I had just told her after she asked the inevitable "any kids?" that we were adopting. It just makes me wonder, don’t people think I’ll be ok if I never get pg? And if I just shared that I’m adopting, wouldn’t they think "isn’t that nice" instead of "poor girl, let me give her some hope"?  And why on earth do they think their story has anything to do with me?  Yes, it’s remarkable that someone could get pg after so many years, and really? after adopting? Gee… But I think it’s the equivalent of telling someone not to worry about their money problems because their cousin won the lottery. These comments happen ALL the time to me. I always feel like there’s some hidden camera around when I hear it. I guess the cluelessness will always be there. Thanks for listening (and mostly UNDERSTANDING), Mary Before you buy.

Response:

I was getting my hair done yesterday and although my hairdresser was really sweet, she felt the need to tell me her niece or daughter or someone got pg after 10 years of trying and adopting. I had just told her after she asked the inevitable "any kids?" that we were adopting. It just makes me wonder, don’t people think I’ll be ok if I never get pg? And if I just shared that I’m adopting, wouldn’t they think "isn’t that nice" instead of "poor girl, let me give her some hope"?  And why on earth do they think their story has anything to do with me?  Yes, it’s remarkable that someone could get pg after so many years, and really? after adopting? Gee… But I think it’s the equivalent of telling someone not to worry about their money problems because their cousin won the lottery. These comments happen ALL the time to me. I always feel like there’s some hidden camera around when I hear it. I guess the cluelessness will always be there. Thanks for listening (and mostly UNDERSTANDING), Mary Before you buy.

Response:

I think adoption is a wonderful thing and would do so in a heartbeat congrats Ellen PCOS TTC-4yrs 2cycles clomid 50mg 1~j~ 3/99

Response:

Filed under: PCOS

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